I’m James Spencer, Royal Incoherence, sorry, Royal Correspondent for the BBC. We’re outside Buckingham Palace today as a small but vocal faction gather outside the gates amongst growing pressure on The Royal Family to answer the question on everyone’s lips: cream, or jam first on a scone? For time immemorial, there has been not the North South Divide you are used to, but a East West divide, a bitter battle between Devon and Cornwall on which goes first: a dollop of clotted cream, or a hearty helping of jam? Many look to The Royal Family (Rest in peace Diana, gone but never forgotten, mother of William [darling Husband of Angelic Kate] and Harry [traitorous bastard who married that black American]) to end this bitter feud that looks set to erupt into Civil War. We’re told an official communique should present itself at any moment, as the official Royal Family Twitter (known now as X) account teased a reveal earlier this morning. Back to you in the Studio.