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The flavour of my funk, or: my happy list

The BBC confirming the revolution will not, in fact, be televised

SVB depositors withdrew $42bn on Thursday. Blockchain solves bank runs because it would take years to handle $42bn of transfers.

Benedict Evans (@benedictevans)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 02:48 GMT

https://twitter.com/benedictevans/status/1634748145279139845

Actually if there was $42b in crypto, and everyone tried to sell, you’d probably be lucky to get around $420m out before it hit zero. The rest would literally evaporate because it doesn’t exist. Also all the exchanges would simply pause trades because it’s a ponzi.

Ryan Badger (@ryanseanbadger)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 02:58 GMT

Four years ago this little guy came into our lives. I’m so happy to give him a happy home.

A Guy Who Codes (@browniepoints)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 08:02 GMT

Life with ADHD: "Sorry, this link has expired." "Sorry, that food has expired." "Sorry, your license has expired."

ADHD Jesse (@adhdjesse)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 21:23 GMT

https://twitter.com/ReinH/status/1634818533401169920

minors? maybe!

Senior Oops Engineer (@ReinH)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 07:29 GMT

https://twitter.com/JezCorden/status/1634511315644424193

And we didn't even need the fact check to know this is pure gaslighting.

Dan - GroundedTech (@GroundedTech)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 15:13 GMT

https://twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/1633717516617891843

Discreet 🍥 (@DiscreetLatino)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 15:33 GMT

https://twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/1633717516617891843

awkward moment the BBC is being fact checked by Twitter

Jez (@JezCorden)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 11:07 GMT

https://twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/1633717516617891843

Not exactly a good study then, is it?

Matthew Breen (@matbreen)Fri, 10 Mar 2023 21:21 GMT

https://twitter.com/BillyM2k/status/1633955427015884800

HawksNest1010 (@jay_hohl)Thu, 09 Mar 2023 23:59 GMT

I ate one chicken nugget a minute for 60 minutes and streamed it on twitch. twitter.com/bbcworld/statu…

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Mental-health crisis from pandemic was minimal, study suggests bbc.in/3ZA0EHd

BBC News (World) (@BBCWorld)Thu, 09 Mar 2023 06:33 GMT

kel (@creepygnomes)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 23:29 GMT

Puffy and sweet marshmallow dragon 🐉 🍫

lizzywatercolor (@lizzywatercolor)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 22:26 GMT

https://twitter.com/RishiSunak/status/1633158789103747072

Can’t benefit from modern slavery protections? You mean if they are trafficked, we would do nothing?

Paul Lomax (@PaulLomax)Tue, 07 Mar 2023 18:21 GMT

Big fan of this cinematic universe where Pedro Pascal just wanders around collecting random orphans like they're Pokémon.

Hannah Shaw-Williams (@HSW3K)Thu, 02 Mar 2023 13:25 GMT

https://twitter.com/RishiSunak/status/1633158789103747072

Modern slavery like paying immigration detainees £1 an hour to clean and paint and maintain their place of captivity? opendemocracy.net/en/home-office…

Shoaib M Khan (@ShoaibMKhan)Tue, 07 Mar 2023 20:46 GMT

https://twitter.com/RishiSunak/status/1633158789103747072

So if a woman is currently enslaved in a brothel and she was brought here illegally for that trade, do you think that this helps her come forward and escape her sex traffickers? Choice is come forward and be deported or continue to have sex with a 30 men a day?

Jess Phillips MP (@jessphillips)Tue, 07 Mar 2023 23:32 GMT

https://twitter.com/jessphillips/status/1633249275617394696

And by have sex I mean be raped by 30 men a day.

Jess Phillips MP (@jessphillips)Tue, 07 Mar 2023 23:33 GMT

https://twitter.com/RishiSunak/status/1633158789103747072

Call me crazy but I feel like being protected from slavery is just a basic human right. Those last three words are “basic human right”, but I imagine you have them muted. Hope everyone else can see em.

Dean Dobbs 🫧 (@DeanDobbs)Tue, 07 Mar 2023 18:42 GMT

https://twitter.com/RishiSunak/status/1633158789103747072

weird way to announce you're bringing back slavery, pretty sure we claim to have made that illegal in 1833.

Dr Fern Riddell (@FernRiddell)Tue, 07 Mar 2023 19:44 GMT

new gender just dropped

elle you see why (@proofrawk)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 23:51 GMT

https://twitter.com/robrousseau/status/1634727269976485888

but please continue warning us about the dangers of drag queen story hour

Rob (@robrousseau)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 01:26 GMT

Did Jordan Peterson check to see if he had any underage followers before he retweeted that femdom machine milking fetish video to millions of people

Rob (@robrousseau)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 01:25 GMT

so jordan peterson just RTed fetish porn of some white guys with the matrix filter over it because he thought it was a chinese breeding facility

Mateba (@Mateba_6)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 23:15 GMT

When I'm being the powerhouse of the cell

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On what occasion would you wear this? #onwhatoccasion

Carol Roth (@caroljsroth)Tue, 07 Mar 2023 23:56 GMT

taddy mason (@no_goblins)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 03:52 GMT

never has an image quite encompassed all of my thoughts and interests

taylor garron (@taylorgarron)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 04:14 GMT

The hour is upon us for a timeline cleanse. May this image nourish you.

LINGUA “LEAD POISONED” IGNOTA (@LINGUA_IGNOTA_)Thu, 09 Mar 2023 15:27 GMT

as the head of PR for the dick sucking factory, I'd just like to say that the footage Jordan Peterson tweeted today was an unauthorized leak and he WILL be hearing from our legal department

j̵͍̎i̸̗͛z̵͔̎z̴̗͌w̴̥̽i̵̛̮t̷̛̟c̶̣͝h̸͉̍ (@fingerbIaster)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 05:05 GMT

https://twitter.com/ReinH/status/1634721271069147136

making fun of pronouns is a 100% accurate sign that you're a piece of shit no one should take seriously

Senior Oops Engineer (@ReinH)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 01:02 GMT

https://twitter.com/ReinH/status/1634721432742821890

it's not embarrassing to care about other people

Senior Oops Engineer (@ReinH)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 01:06 GMT

A bunch if you who follow me also follow this asshole. Please reconsider it.

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https://twitter.com/ReinH/status/1634699610924158978

Lmao

Santiago (@svpino)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 23:51 GMT

Alex Hidalgo (@ahidalgosre)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 01:19 GMT

https://twitter.com/jennplusplus/status/1634726612552802304

people who do not care about others live their lives with no one who cares about them. it is sad, really.

Senior Oops Engineer (@ReinH)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 02:07 GMT

https://twitter.com/svpino/status/1634703595999223808

ah you're just a piece of shit

Senior Oops Engineer (@ReinH)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 01:00 GMT

https://twitter.com/svpino/status/1634703595999223808

Does it bother you that you bought all those followers and yet you still can't get anyone to pay attention to you? It seems like that might bother you.

@jenniferplusplus@tech.lgbt (@jennplusplus)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 01:22 GMT

i thought the consensus was it's gross to hear ur parents have sex but that in a weird way ur glad they are happy with one another and still doing it? like the alternative is worse, no? i guarantee parents in a loveless marriage is more ""traumatizing""

bibo (@biboofficial)Thu, 02 Mar 2023 20:27 GMT

Based on angry tweets, you’d assume America’s inequality problem was that a big tech employee makes six figures which is so unfair to the little guy instead of the fact billionaires own everything and pay a lower tax rate than said tech employee.

Dare Obasanjo (@Carnage4Life)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 17:26 GMT

my gatsby themed party is just a regular party but there’s a dead guy in the pool

Rupert meeting his new friend Mango, an 8 week old golden retriever.

Alistair Hey (@alistair_hey)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 13:16 GMT

if you're mad about pronouns in bio you are a tiny little baby and someone needs to change your diapers

Senior Oops Engineer (@ReinH)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 06:41 GMT

Not sure how I’m going to recover from Jordan Peterson tweeting a male milking fetish video because he thinks it’s a real Chinese government policy.

Will Sommer (@willsommer)Sun, 12 Mar 2023 01:28 GMT

https://twitter.com/davidgerard/status/1634633886712954881

to translate for non techies 1. they put the keys to auto-update the computers in a box 2. Musk fired everyone with the key to that box. 3. fucking whoops

your #1 source for absurdist true crime 🐀 🐍👑 🌷 (@davidgerard)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 19:26 GMT

UNVERIFIED RUMOUR: Musk fired everyone with access to the private key to their internal root CA, and they can no longer run Puppet because the Puppet master's CA cert expired and they can't get a new one because no one has access. They no longer can mint certs. *ahem* lol

your #1 source for absurdist true crime 🐀 🐍👑 🌷 (@davidgerard)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 19:14 GMT

So, because a fucking *sports* presenter publicly diagreed with Government policy, he’s taken off air? and because a nature show presents *facts* that are awkward, it can’t be broadcast, in case the right wing press gets upset? Remind me who are #snowflakes and have a problem with #CancelCulture? The Government lickspittles at the top of the #BBC need to fuck off back into their holes.

Forbes needs to stop

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Proud to be on @Forbes' annual ranking of America's Best Banks for the 5th straight year and to have also been named to the publication's inaugural Financial All-Stars list. 👉 bit.svb.com/3ZFxwyp

SVB (@SVB_Financial)Mon, 06 Mar 2023 19:00 GMT

Sunny McSunnyface (@sunnyright)Fri, 10 Mar 2023 22:54 GMT

People acting like 250k should be enough for everyone and nobody should keep that much money in one bank haven't mentally processed that 2 week payroll for 100 folks making average 70k (school? small hospital? medium non-profit?) already exceeds that.

Maggie Johnson-Pint (@maggiepint)Sat, 11 Mar 2023 01:34 GMT