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No one expected that.... #KingsSpeechSt Peter (Parody of a dude who was Jesus's BFF) (@stpeteyontweety)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 15:34 GMT
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No one expected that.... #KingsSpeechSt Peter (Parody of a dude who was Jesus's BFF) (@stpeteyontweety)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 15:34 GMT
Well, the #kingsspeech took a wild turn, but I'm all for it.Aaron Kent (@GodzillaKent)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 15:25 GMT
Imagine if he brought Diana out
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King Charles' first-ever Christmas speech may have a 'surprise' trib.al/s4ww40pNew York Post (@nypost)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 16:18 GMT
Swagley Cooper (@_ednight)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 14:51 GMT
🎶Weyoun in a manger…🎶
RLJenkins (@rljenkarchi)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 15:05 GMT
Currently vacuuming with an Old Fashioned in hand because while I care about being helpful this holiday season, I also care about enjoying myself 😂
Taylor Poindexter (@engineering_bae)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 21:39 GMT
i feel attacked
Paris Marx (@parismarx)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 04:44 GMT
I mean what is more likely, that virtually EVERY PARENT is in on a giant global conspiracy, or that Santa is real.
Chris Nicholas (@DrChrisNicholas)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 13:01 GMT
Fuck off you Victorian Cockwomble. Go back to stealing toys from children. twitter.com/Jacob_Rees_Mog…Scott (@ssxio)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 10:13 GMT
Merry Christmas to you all ❤️ This day taught me that love is an invincible force, an infinite source of positive energy that gives us the power to destroy even the strongest walls of despair, darkness and injustice.
Uppermost (@uppermostmusic)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 10:10 GMT
There are Tory MPs in Church today, dressed in their Sunday best. They will listen to The Good Samaritan parable and likely proclaim peace and love to all. Tomorrow they will go back to supporting the deportation of the most vulnerable & traumatised people to Rwanda.Howard Beckett (@BeckettUnite)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 09:09 GMT
Interesting they managed to find and film a homeless person who thinks ‘if the City does well, we all do…’ 🥴
Jemma Forte (@jemmaforte)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 12:06 GMT
There’s out of touch and then there’s a millionaire asking a homeless man in a homeless shelter if he’s in financial services
James Felton (@JimMFelton)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 11:20 GMT
That’s the oddest part of this convo for me. Not Sunak trying to chat to him but a homeless bloke who thinks the city’s success helps us all. 🤷🏾♂️
Jay Motty (@JayMotty)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:20 GMT
Why provide actual help for homeless people when you can use them as a Christmassy PR opportunity
James Felton (@JimMFelton)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 11:23 GMT
MDMA is a profound and fickle drug; it has the potential to make deeply traumatized people love themselves, and yet millions take it in the wrong circumstances and end up loving only European techno
Sasha Chapin (@sashachapin)Mon, 19 Dec 2022 07:27 GMT
OMG I’ve opened my gifts and I am so sorted for Christmas Day! (fridge magnet is divorce humour from my daughter - laughed so hard and I’m such a lucky dad 🥰🥰)
Steven Pears (@StevenPears)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 08:18 GMT
Finalizing my schedule for Christmas.
vacation mb ❄️ (@mb)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 04:25 GMT
Just your seasonal reminder that you're not obliged to spend time around toxic people or in toxic environments. In life, you build your own family.Jen (OnTheMove) 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 (@JenOnTheMoveUK)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 20:57 GMT
First Christmas Day totally on my own. - Got up when I was ready - Made a double espresso so strong it almost made me believe in Santa again - Just cooking bacon and brioche for breakfast - Two gifts to open then I’m gonna game all day Yeah I’ve had worst Christmases 😂Steven Pears (@StevenPears)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 08:00 GMT
Happy last minute panic-shop to everyone who celebrates.
I just saw the Milky Way with my bare eyes for the first time in my life 🥲
Happy Xmas Eve 4:20 Mountain Time! Next show: 4:20 PacificDoug Benson (@DougBenson)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 23:24 GMT
SYLVIA NOOOOOOOO
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The stove is gradually becoming more of a friend. 1951
Sylvia Plath's Food Diary (@whatsylviaate)Fri, 23 Dec 2022 16:00 GMT
warm human (@w000rm)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 00:50 GMT
The stove is gradually becoming more of a friend. 1951
Sylvia Plath's Food Diary (@whatsylviaate)Fri, 23 Dec 2022 16:00 GMT
My 22yo flight instructor who gets paid $22/hr to literally risk his life sitting next to me every time we fly has never lost his temper w/me or tried to make me feel stupid, but my EM boss who makes $540K/yr can't take morning handover w/out actively trying to make someone cry.
Flying Lady Doctor Says | ☭ | تقول الطبيبة | 🇮🇶 (@LadyDoctorSays)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 03:32 GMT
I for one think it’s totally healthy and normal that some people get to have a billion dollars and some people get to freeze to death on the streets
big honkin caboose (@itsmegangraves)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 15:40 GMT
Does he know?
Braden 🏺 (@BradenIsBased)Fri, 23 Dec 2022 19:22 GMT
anyway these christmas car sale ads have always struck me as particularly wild because they usually feature a husband surprising his wife with a car for christmas and who the fuck makes a purchase that large without consulting the person he is legally and financially tied to
Kat Cosgrove (Rat Arc) 🐀 (@Dixie3Flatline)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 02:36 GMT
The idea of a CEO touching servers after calling the software a Rube Goldberg machine is the stuff of nightmares.
Laurie (@laurieontech)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 16:14 GMT
how old were u when u found out that the irish potato famine wasn’t a famine at all and it was just the british stealing all their food
booty noodles (@bigsnugga)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 11:43 GMT
hey guys last time Santa came to my house he said instead of milk and cookies he actually wants ketamine and oxys just fyi
Stanzi ❤️🔥 (@stanzipotenza)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 05:11 GMT
christmas belongs to her
NOSTALGIA (@notgwendalupe)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:25 GMT
In case you were wondering, for Santa, in a single 24-hr Earth-night, to deliver presents to all those who celebrate Christmas, he must visit 25,000 homes per second.
Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 23:02 GMT
Damn bro he never said Santa couldn't do it.
Rudy (@RudyLTX)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 02:47 GMT
Between and I took 10307 steps.
One of the most powerful survival skills is flexibility. I will always value safe and relaxed time with my loved ones over pushing through dangerous situations to do it on a certain day because of tradition. Do what you need to stay safe. One day isn’t worth putting lives at risk
Amanda Hu (@amandalhu)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 16:18 GMT
Do you ever carefully read what you type (or the tweet you're responding to) before sending it?
Ivan the K™ (@IvanTheK)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:39 GMT
Me keep having to start new batch of cookies for Santa because me keep eating them.
Cookie Monster (@MeCookieMonster)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 18:01 GMT
This is the funniest thing I've ever read
Lara Mendonça (@laraisuncool)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 00:43 GMT
M*sk trying to figure out his next move in any game of chess:
Rob Hunt (@helloiamrob)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 00:56 GMT
cookiephus
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Me keep having to start new batch of cookies for Santa because me keep eating them.
Cookie Monster (@MeCookieMonster)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 18:01 GMT
🎄 stick 🎄 (jolly) (@briggityboppity)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 23:21 GMT
You fools have it all wrong! It's not about any holiday! Die Hard is about socks! Why else would that guy tell John to remove his socks & make fists with his feet? Holly's boss' name? Takagi: the Japanese word for soft foot covering. & limo driver named Argyle? I rest my caseNo one (@stoppedcaring19)Fri, 21 Dec 2018 15:15 GMT
The Die Hard screenplay wasn’t even written until scores of years AFTER Hans Gruber died.
Eric Owens (@ericowensdc)Sun, 23 Dec 2018 05:07 GMT
I love Twitter.
Fake History Hunter (@fakehistoryhunt)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:31 GMT
The thing is, Die Hard wasn’t a Christmas movie originally. The script was changed by Constantine in 336 to align it with the Sol Invictus festival.
Matthew Black (@MatthwBlack)Thu, 20 Dec 2018 13:41 GMT
IT WAS DECLARED A CHRISTMAS MOVIE AT THE COUNCIL OF NICEA I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE TO GET ANGRY ABOUT THIS
The Messianic Secret (@MessianicSecret)Fri, 21 Dec 2018 03:36 GMT
This might be a controversial opinion, especially at Christmastime, but they should add a second god to Christianity to spice things up
pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 06:12 GMT
Happy birthday to the greatest Christmas tweet of all time
Chugging pilk at 2AM and getting a tummy ache (@_GASLIGHTER)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 06:14 GMT
Some kid isn't with their daddy on Christmas morning because he's out on protest zone harassment duty. Go home
Ian Coldwater (@IanColdwater)Sun, 25 Dec 2022 06:31 GMT
"areas of expertise" has been a great matrix to quickly skim over all important parts of @calcom and who is knowledgeable ✅ = has knowledge 🥇 = is their main priority ⚠️ = is the only one with knowledge 👀 = has no knowledge but wants to be onboarded cal.com/openPeer Richelsen 🗓🍊 (@peer_rich)Sat, 24 Dec 2022 17:42 GMT