Tag shitpost

There's a tank gunner on TikTok showing how he gets into the tank by climbing up and people are roasting him for not just pressing E

SwiftOnSecurity (@SwiftOnSecurity)Sun, 11 Apr 2021 15:45 +0000

????

Theo ‎✡︎ טוביה 🏳️‍🌈 (@jewish_activist)Fri, 09 Apr 2021 14:47 +0000

That time my hair had the Conan O’Brien swoop, so of course I chose this very good hair day to make an important #ApexLegends announcement.

Elle Newlands (@ElleNewlands)Tue, 23 Mar 2021 22:00 GMT

A burnt out engineer call that STEM brulée

Andy Reed 🍞 (@andykreed)Wed, 07 Apr 2021 02:08 +0000

Help! My (43) competitor (22) has reimplemented my public API (25)

jack (@doitwithalambda)Mon, 05 Apr 2021 23:03 +0000

To all who don’t like pineapple on your pizza...please consider this alternative.

Aaron Cohen (@ImoveCar)Sat, 03 Apr 2021 11:00 +0000

What if The Simpsons were British?

Alasdair Beckett-King (@MisterABK)Fri, 02 Apr 2021 09:35 +0000

Shocking. #CREMEEGG

Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez)Mon, 29 Mar 2021 15:50 +0000

hi guys, just logging on to say i love to work in my job at amazon warehouse. my name is nape. i am 29.75 years existing. moving boxes is my favorite human pastime. i urinate frequently and always in the small white being known as toirlet. please do not give me the human rights!

soul nate (@MNateShyamalan)Mon, 29 Mar 2021 21:15 +0000

[[ inappropriate cackling ]]

Reid (@arrdem)Fri, 26 Mar 2021 22:18 GMT

Exec 1: "The Mandalorian was a hit! We need something like that for the Obi Wan spinoff, but not -too- similar." Exec 2: "say no more"

Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears)Sun, 21 Mar 2021 16:54 GMT

Can confirm.

badly-drawn bee 🐝 (@soapachu)Thu, 18 Mar 2021 17:37 GMT

babe are you okay you didn't even touch your 60% mechanical keyboard shaped waffle

Fuzzy (@BoxMacLeod)Mon, 15 Mar 2021 11:44 GMT

Startup idea: NFTs for domain names. We could have multiple authorities who are trusted to verify people’s identity and claim to own a domain, and then issue them a digital certificate. They can then use that certificate for verifying their domain and website is authentic.

Mike Kelly (@mikekelly85)Mon, 15 Mar 2021 10:12 GMT

two software engineers walk into a “foo”

kris nóva (@krisnova)Mon, 15 Mar 2021 05:07 GMT

My favourite vegetable is mangetout bc it’s spells man get out

Jaimi Shrive (@Jaimi_Shrive)Thu, 11 Mar 2021 20:45 GMT

You may think standing in the vaccine standby lines is a waste of time but I think it's worth a shot

Emily (@EmilyKager)Thu, 11 Mar 2021 21:19 GMT

･ *ﾟ 　 ･ ﾟ* ･｡ *･｡ the pull-out *.｡ ｡･ method °*. ﾟ｡ ﾟ*. is not ｡｡ ･ ｡ ･ﾟ ｡°*. reliable ｡*･｡

H̶͢͝T̨T̸̕͢P̴̕͠ ̕͠Lo̡͡v̸̷͢è̡͢ç̶raf̕t̨͜ (@HTTP_Lovecraft)Wed, 10 Mar 2021 20:42 GMT

Forget an edit button; I want @Twitter to include an Enterprise tier where I can force all of my employees to embed a 1200 character disclaimer at the end of every tweet for compliance purposes. You’re welcome, Internet!

Corey Quinn (@QuinnyPig)Tue, 09 Mar 2021 22:20 GMT

ommgg

𝒊𝒔𝒏𝒕𝒅𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 ⭑⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⊰⋆⃟⭑ (@IsntDaveOne)Mon, 08 Mar 2021 05:06 GMT

“your pronouns are what’s in between your legs” ok so girls/guys

cal? (@cal_gif)Sun, 07 Mar 2021 17:57 GMT

whoa

Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen)Sat, 06 Mar 2021 21:51 GMT

Guys I’m totally freaked out....I took the COVID19 vaccine band aid off my arm and WTF

Free Dominguez (@freedominguez)Fri, 05 Mar 2021 01:22 GMT

An extremely important time management message,

Kim Reece (@feonixrift)Mon, 01 Mar 2021 09:23 GMT

hr: and who should we contact in an emergency? me: I guess me hr: no, like, if the emergency involves you me: that feels like even more reason to tell me

Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau)Mon, 01 Mar 2021 22:04 GMT

Oh you’re rich? Name every number on your credit card.

Andy Bell (@piccalilli_)Mon, 01 Mar 2021 09:27 GMT

#Java

Bruno Borges (@brunoborges)Fri, 19 Feb 2021 16:19 GMT

If someone shrunk their kids today they'd be cancelled, straight up

Kyle Harris (@heykyleharris)Wed, 17 Feb 2021 16:10 GMT

Alternate history: Covid-09

Star Trek The Next Jeneration 1986 (@hellscape1986)Mon, 15 Feb 2021 14:34 GMT

*phew* so glad tomorrow is finally friday :)

Rebecca Black (@MsRebeccaBlack)Thu, 11 Feb 2021 05:45 GMT

This comment on a ted talk im watching

malaya (@accessforbidden)Sun, 07 Feb 2021 13:13 GMT

me: “would you rather fart loudly or poop yourself silently” recruiter: “we meant questions about the job”

Andy Bell (@piccalilli_)Mon, 08 Feb 2021 12:14 GMT

The phrase “subtweet” implies there is a domtweet That’s it, that’s the joke, tip your bartender, have a good night

Katelyn Bowden (@medus4_cdc)Sat, 06 Feb 2021 01:22 GMT

god the foreshadowing in that movie was so good

laura bananas (@freezydorito)Thu, 04 Feb 2021 01:51 GMT

Women in tech are literally so easy to please. Give us fancy mechanical keyboards and fundamental human rights. That's only two things.

Cake is Kate. Always has been. 💫 (@kefimochi)Wed, 03 Feb 2021 05:06 GMT

A vaccine rollout that is bottlenecked on manufacturing and distribution is the real dependency injection.

Emily (@EmilyKager)Mon, 25 Jan 2021 18:39 GMT

who tf decided to call it the Socialist Rifle Association and not The Marxmen ?

Henry Pissinger and the Chamber of Piss (@nutnutnutnate)Mon, 18 Jan 2021 20:40 GMT

What We Would Have Called Whales If They Had Been Discovered For the First Time in 2020 big swimmer boi thicc fish blubby boo chonk shark

Adrienne Porter Felt (@__apf__)Sat, 16 Jan 2021 21:31 GMT

Morning Moomins! How come everyone I follow has snow, but I do not? I want a snow day so I can call up work and say I can't come in.

Terence Eden (@edent)Tue, 29 Dec 2020 08:55 GMT

Got sad news today. After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after 1 minor indiscretion. He slept with 1 of his patients & now can no longer work in the job he loves. What a waste of time, training & money. A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet..

David Pugh (@davidsoho1)Sat, 26 Dec 2020 11:41 GMT

I am on PTO for the next two weeks. Guess I no longer have an excuse to put off building a personal website

Kat Cosgrove, Alleged Thought Leader (@Dixie3Flatline)Fri, 18 Dec 2020 00:47 GMT

a DevOps engineer who isn't trans? They must be a cis admin.

lizzy (@eleyezedzedwhy)Sun, 06 Dec 2020 19:47 GMT

People keep asking me how I went from 143 followers to 150 in just 6 months. Let me tell you it has been a journey. A thread 👇

Steve Lamar (@StevejLamar)Sat, 21 Nov 2020 13:09 GMT

who in the hell called it The Law of Diminishing Returns and not More's Law

Gary Bernhardt (@garybernhardt)Mon, 26 Oct 2020 22:12 GMT

And that's why the US government will never reveal who exactly taught humans how to make the microchip and other fantastic technologies. 12/12

The Register (@TheRegister)Thu, 15 Oct 2020 23:07 +0000

EEEeeeeee

YIYO 🔪🖤 ☾💀🎃 (@yi_ya_yi_ya_yo)Tue, 13 Oct 2020 06:21 +0000

Wishing the President a speedy recovfefe

Mark Humphries (@markhumphries)Fri, 02 Oct 2020 05:39 +0000